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Unsolicited dating advice for all frustrated modern daters

Unsolicited dating advice for all frustrated modern daters

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So let me just start by saying that I am the antithesis of a dating expert. I am completely unqualified to offer a shred of dating advice, so brace yourself for some amateur romantic life-guidance.

Truthfully, I just figure that these concepts are applicable to anyone whom you choose to play a part in your life. It could be a person you date, or just a friend whom you hangout with but have feelings for. Its okay, I won’t force you to explicitly explain your current situation because that’s not my responsibility, like I said, I am not a dating expert.

Let’s get on to it shall we.

 

1.

Should I date someone who is extremely nice to me?

Erm, I’m gonna give you a cheat for this question. The obvious answer is yes and should always be yes. Why? Because there’s so many mean people in this world so if you end up with one of them it makes you un-special. But in all seriousness, if you’re dating someone who is not nice to you, you need to leave.

If you’re dating someone who is mean to you, there are plenty screwed up of people in the world who will drive you crazy with their unnecessary cruelty; you don’t need to be dating one of them. Find a guy who is not just nice to you, but nice to everyone else. If you’re unsure about whether he’s pretending to be nice in front of you, stalk him and find out from his friends. You deserve to know the truth!!

 

2.

Should I date someone who pressurises/wants me to change?

People you date should not pressure you into anything. And this goes for everything. If you’re dating someone who is attempting to pressure you into something physical, then I’ll be the first to say that they have the self-control and emotional maturity of a thirteen-year-old.

Your romantic person should also not pressure you into their philosophical, religious, or food-related beliefs. Above all, they should not be convincing you to change your values. Because a person’s values are more important than superficial things like a match of personalities, looks or whatever. It means that he should respect you and consider how you feel. If your value is to not have sex before you’re married, then this person should respect that. It means he doesn’t belittle you or pressurise you to change, because he truly cares about you, your values and beliefs.

I can imagine you’ll find someone you wish to know better, and this person will be different from you in quite a few ways – choice of ice cream flavours, tv shows, fashion sense and what not. As long as this person isn’t pressuring you to agree with everything he or she says, I think you’re good. If a person is trying to change you, sorry to say that they don’t love you, or they probably don’t like you that much.

 

3.

We should all accept that, in terms of dating, no one knows exactly what they’re doing.

I feel like I’ve read a million and one disparate versions of when people say they don’t know exactly what they’re doing, like for most of their lives.

Dating is no exception.

I think relationships, especially in the beginning, are kind of like baking cookies from scratch when you’ve misplaced your favourite recipe but have a general idea of how it’s all supposed to come together. You do not know how to make it perfect, but you have general ideas on the things that you need to make it work.

So give your S.O. a break, if you don’t know what you’re doing, then he or she probably doesn’t know either. Think of it like you’re both baking cookies but you’re both not bakers. Accept, learn and grow in love for each other, I think everyone deserves that kind of love.

Hui Xin Huixin is a true ENFJ. Her passions include fashion, dancing and everything design. Her latest obsession? Acai!

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