Timing is something that none of us can seem to get right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.
“It would have been perfect,” We tell our friends, “If only we met five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the unvarying third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.
Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to learn to accept:
the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.
You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you think twice about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that anything you had originally planned out for the future, isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have with them by your side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.
When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t have to worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, they become a part of that schedule. Everything revolves around them.
The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you. To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the best in you and make you want to work harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They face those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time and energy it takes.
The truth is, when we allow someone to leave because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a perfect time when everything falls into place. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.