Now that I’ve hit the big-two (scary), it feels like everyone around me is either in a relationship, or even engaged. I see that many of them are happy and very much in love (which is a beautiful thing I cannot deny), but it still doesn’t quite make sense to me, yet. At such a young age before I’ve really experienced all that is life, it’s hard to envision myself committing to one person, settle down, much less start a family. Granted, these are all perfectly normal, exciting, and expected chapters of a person’s life, but I still have so many years ahead of me, so really, what’s the rush?
At this point you’ve probably guessed that I’m single, and you’re right. I haven’t always been single, though. I have told another person those jaw-dropping, knee-knocking, heart-stopping words that so many of us want to hear: “I love you.”
But what came with those words after the moment I said them was a weight and reality that sank deep into me, in a way that I cannot articulate. It’s electrifying, yes, but also utterly compromising to the point of no return.
Okay, maybe I’m being a little dramatic, but it really happened.
And while that bliss of loving someone is something every one of us deserves, it is also critical to consider all that you need to be willing to give as a result of finding it. To give so much of yourself to another individual is a commitment. You must be willing and ready to put someone else before yourself. You have to juggle their needs in addition to your own, learn to compromise, learn to give and take, and all that fun stuff.
To all the people who are feeling frustrated and hopeless, or are fed-up with being single, take a step back and understand that you’ve got it. It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 30, 40, or beyond in age, you are very lucky to be right where you are. There is a freedom that comes with being single that coupled people rarely experience.
To be alone is not equivalent to loneliness.
Have we forgotten about our familial and platonic relationships? Our best friends, our peers, our pets? The passions that keep us going and the people that inspire us?
If we continue to neglect the countless other loves in our lives outside of The One, then we will forever feel lonely, unhappy, and unfulfilled. Rushing romantic love when you’re already surrounded by love in all its other forms won’t cut it.
So pause. Relish this freedom. Evaluate all that’s inside you, and take confidence in all that’s around you.
One day, you will meet the right one — the one that will knock you off your feet, the one that shakes you to your core, the one that cares for you, the one that loves you back — Its just a matter of time.